2022 – The Year of the Dominant?

Oh boy, it’s 2022 and I’m not sure how I got here, or more to the point, what I did with 2020 and 2021!  I don’t think it’s an age thing, although that is a contributing factor I’m sure.  The mechanisms that we have had to follow during the pandemic made my world smaller and had a small influence on the type of person I am.

One thing 2022 presents for me is a world of D/s possibilities.  In the last year missy and I have discussed various ways to grow our relationship, and already she is documenting that on her blog with vigour.  I am currently behind that curve as I feel I cannot let go and express myself whilst we still have young adults in the house awaiting a return to university after their Christmas break.  I have become a fair weather Dom having been exposed to the calm seas of an empty house during last year.  I make no apology for not adapting as I could have done, it’s just that being pulled in different directions by family does not make you feel enthused a great deal of the time. In all honestly I have allowed our D/s to take a back seat our other commitments and needs.

I am hopeful this year that my few small aims to improve me as a Dom will become reality. You may wonder what they are, and I’ll tell you, however, there’s more to the picture than meets the eye. Let me explain a little;

  1. Seeing Missy as a sub.  This has always been an issue whereby I see her for everything she is. Seprating all the great roles she fills in the family and work from the sub she wants to be seen as when D/s is needed. I have tried a few things in the past to force that change. Missy wearing a mask was one such attempt which worked too well and she knew she had been dominated afterwards. Sometimes it is better to remember who you’re playing with!  That experiment aside, this year I want to develop that environment without the need of props.
  2. To wear the Dom mantle on my sleeve. In all the years we have been D/s I have not been a Dom that’s on my sub’s case all the time. I know some Doms are like that, however, I want a balance which means being more overt in the way I manage and interact with missy.  It is as simple as taking what I want from her, be it a casual spanking, being inside her when I want and also giving her the room to grow as a sub.
  3. Have more fun with D/s.  I have said this to many new Doms over the years that D/s can become very serious and slowly the fun can come out of it. The relationship can be like handling sheets of glass with steps so small and considered it becomes a challenge and not a journey.  Missy and I have discussed how we want our weeks to be and when is the best time time to talk, play or generally just mess about with stuff.  I guess it’s a bit like stretching muscles in that the more you do it the less likely you are to have a injury if you trip up!
  4. Write more. Well I have started with this short piece so we will see where the year takes me! We have a few projects for The Safewords Club, as well as our other venues for this year so the aim to write more will certainly happen.

Have a good 2022 everyone.

Posted in Being a Dom and tagged , .


  1. I am so pleased that you are writing again and the reflections and focusses you have outlined sound really positive. This makes me feel excited for us ❤️

  2. Sounds like you have some great goals, HL! Your first goal- seeing Missy as a sub- struck me. I think that often, my husband struggles to see me as a submissive…as he sees me in so many different roles, most of which, are positions of leaderships. Great post. Happy new year! XOXO

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