The last time I posted anything with consistency was July of this year. After that I have not had the inspiration, desire or motivation to post anything. If you can’t write anything interesting, then why write at all? I should point out that I do have a stupid amount of draft posts that only have titles. I obviously attempted something, but gave up.
Sometimes you need a little kick start or a bit of gunpowder in your rum as it where to get the pistons going again.
As you can probably guess, I have sampled some inspiration quite recently and this has prompted a post, finally. Missy and I arranged to meet up with old D/s friends at a half way point in the UK. This was a very quick trip and therefore time was at a premium. No room for 10 hour drives this time around to remote locations! However, this post is not about the weekend, that may come at a later time. This post is about finding my mojo!
It is strange to find yourself in a situation where things that once were an instant motivator suddenly stop, or at least slow down. I have no idea why we both found ourselves in a rut. I think the trench was very shallow at first and then just got deeper, and before long we could no longer see over the top. Missy has also written about this here, and she too acknowleges that life has really got in the way. I shouldn’t do this to be honest as we have been D/s for 10 years now, however, it did and we both recognised it as not being a positive place to be in.
As I said previously, we went away and in doing so required some discussion about our relationship and kinky play in general. I think for the past months we have spoken about our relationship but it felt almost theoretical by compasission to that of a few days ago. Added to that we were out of the house and heading away to do something that was about us and not about the small army of children we have had to shuttle to university over 500 miles in 3 weekends. This one was about us, and another 400 miles, but they were our miles for open conversation without extra sets of ears listening in.
The pandemic has made me feel claustrophobic internally. It has happened over the past 18 months, slowly creeping up day by day. Walking in the hills didn’t clear the feeling away and having some of the children/adults back for months on end also added to the feeling. Our trip away cleared those cobwebs and I feel recharged, more aware of missy and also myself. Dominance has come more easily and free flowing rather than past periods of silence.
I can’t ignore that being away, playing with others and taking photos has not added to that, because it has. Being with other people allows me to see missy from a different angle. I see her talking to other adults (not something we have experienced much of late) and not only dressing in a sexy way but being a little flirty too. It all adds the power the charging of the mental batteries.
I’m looking forward very much at this point, and I mean forward and not back. The rear view mirrow of life has been pretty crap this year so eyes on the horizon it is, and would say it’s looking good!