The last time I posted anything with consistency was July of this year. After that I have not had the inspiration, desire or motivation to post anything. If you can’t write anything interesting, then why write at all? I should point out that I do have a stupid amount of draft posts that only have titles. I obviously attempted something, but gave up.
Sometimes you need a little kick start or a bit of gunpowder in your rum as it where to get the pistons going again.
As you can probably guess, I have sampled some inspiration quite recently and this has prompted a post, finally. Missy and I arranged to meet up with old D/s friends at a half way point in the UK. This was a very quick trip and therefore time was at a premium. No room for 10 hour drives this time around to remote locations! However, this post is not about the weekend, that may come at a later time. This post is about finding my mojo!
It is strange to find yourself in a situation where things that once were an instant motivator suddenly stop, or at least slow down. I have no idea why we both found ourselves in a rut. I think the trench was very shallow at first and then just got deeper, and before long we could no longer see over the top. Missy has also written about this here, and she too acknowleges that life has really got in the way. I shouldn’t do this to be honest as we have been D/s for 10 years now, however, it did and we both recognised it as not being a positive place to be in.
As I said previously, we went away and in doing so required some discussion about our relationship and kinky play in general. I think for the past months we have spoken about our relationship but it felt almost theoretical by compasission to that of a few days ago. Added to that we were out of the house and heading away to do something that was about us and not about the small army of children we have had to shuttle to university over 500 miles in 3 weekends. This one was about us, and another 400 miles, but they were our miles for open conversation without extra sets of ears listening in.
The pandemic has made me feel claustrophobic internally. It has happened over the past 18 months, slowly creeping up day by day. Walking in the hills didn’t clear the feeling away and having some of the children/adults back for months on end also added to the feeling. Our trip away cleared those cobwebs and I feel recharged, more aware of missy and also myself. Dominance has come more easily and free flowing rather than past periods of silence.
I can’t ignore that being away, playing with others and taking photos has not added to that, because it has. Being with other people allows me to see missy from a different angle. I see her talking to other adults (not something we have experienced much of late) and not only dressing in a sexy way but being a little flirty too. It all adds the power the charging of the mental batteries.
I’m looking forward very much at this point, and I mean forward and not back. The rear view mirrow of life has been pretty crap this year so eyes on the horizon it is, and would say it’s looking good!
Glad to see a post from you, HisLordshipUK! I think I know what you mean about this pandemic and being isolated with our families. I feel like I have been seeing my husband in a whole new way lately when we are around others. I had the thought the other day…when did he get so darn attractive? In any case… good to see you in this space 🙂
I am sometimes surprised that what I thought was perhaps an uninteresting post when I was writing it, has seemed to stir a lot more interest amongst those who have read my post than I ever imagined….which has taught me to just write, say what I want to say on that day, and let others decide whether it is of interest to them. That’s been especially important to me recently because I have been so ill. So my posts have been less erotic and more about what is happening in my life right now.
It is very heartwarming to see that those who originally may have started reading my posts because of an interest in erotica, are just as interested, if not more, about me as a person. The kind comments and encouragement while I am dealing with challenges is very precious to me. It motivates me to want to keep in touch with those who have been not only supporting my writing, but now are supporting me on a personal level by bringing a smile to my face and a glow to my heart.
I know all about getting in a rut and not knowing how to get out of it, and happy to read you are finding a way out! One day we will too 🙂
~ Marie xox
I can totally relate to this and your comment about feeling internal claustrophobia was spot on. I’m glad you are seeing your way out–a bit of travel is helping that here too.
I hope you’re being kind to yourself about the ebb phase, it’s really natural I think, especially when you’ve been practising for so long!
I’m glad your words and kink-life are starting to flow again. I’m looking forward to reading more posts, especially those titled drafts where the blank screen still needs filling.