Sex Toys – #Tellmeabout

My one main issue with sex toys is that new ones keep coming out, and I love new inventions, gadgets, and tools for my workshop. So where is the issue you may ask?  It’s the general disappointment with sex toys would be my answer.  There are millions of the rubbery, buzzing, probing, stroking, and stretching devices hitting the market every month.  Some of the toys are generally accepted as particularly good, market leaders and known brands.  Some people vacuum their house, others, like me, Hoover their house as this was once a leading brand in house cleaning devices and for a short time the only one you could buy. The only similar sex toy I can think of would be the Rabbit, although I think that is more to do with the style. I cannot remember anyone saying they are going upstairs for a quick Rabbit so maybe the rules are different. Maybe inventing a sex toy called ‘Wank’ would be a good idea.

Sex toys are almost as widely available as a can of Coke Cola. To prove this, I once went into a back street convenience store in our local city.  There was a big refrigerator with alcohol, milk, and ice cream, however, on a high shelf was a row of massive dildos!  The owner also has a pretty wide selection of Poppers and weed enjoyment paraphernalia.  I guess I did say it was a convenience store, although, I cannot imagine someone saying to their partner or kids,

“Pop down the shop love and get me a pint of milk, stock cubes and a 16-inch black mamba dildo. Oh! and don’t let the Burt try and sell you that cheap lube that turns to glue!”

With sex toys being so widely available there must be a market for them, and with demand there has to be supply.  The main manufacturer of sex toys is China, and with predictions that the sex toy industry will be worth 56 billion US Dollars by 2026 that means $7.00 per human will be spent on a potential insertable love egg for everyone!  The sex toy industry has exploded without a doubt and people talking about sex and toys is still seen by some people as edgy, however, in the world we live in, it is seen as a corner shop product and not something reality TV people giggle over.

The downside of such mass production of anything is quality. Missy and I review toys from time to time and whilst the majority of them are of a high standard, they are pretty much the same. Soft to touch coating, USB charging and easy to clean.  There are exceptions, items that really stand out and make you seriously consider purchasing something that makes you think twice about the price.  Missy and I attended a Sexpo type event in London a number of years ago.  The place was full of homemade floggers and clothing that really creative people had spent time in making. We bought our first flogger there and considered some cheaper toys, that was until we passed the Doxy stand.  In pride of place was their polished steel cased Doxy Wand.  It cost around £120 back then, looked amazing and the sales guy was the company owner who sang the virtues of the wand like a canary.  Three hours later missy and I unwrapped the wand in our hotel room and three minutes later an orgasm was torn from her.  I even went back and told the guy how good it was! We have three of them now; The original old and worn out, its replacement in brushed steel and small travel version.  I had an issue with vibration (unwanted) in one of them and Doxy just sorted it out.

Now that was not supposed to be an advert for Doxy, (although I have included our affiliate links) and price is not always a guarantee of quality, however, sex toys are very much a personal taste.  There is not a one size fits all as we know and yet sex toy statements do give that impression with their wild descriptions of mind-blowing orgasms for everyone.  It would be good to have try before buy offer, however, the reasons why you can’t are obvious and this can be seen in the difficulty in either disposing of them ethically or selling old toys.  We have cupboards full of toys, wardrobes with unopened toys hidden behind clothing, restraint bars under the bed and an overhead suspension point.  If anything happened to us one of our family is going to raise a eyebrow when clearing the room out! There is some freaky stuff behind lock and key!

Sex toys for us have a place, but not front and centre. They are generally too hit and miss to spend vast sums of cash on and again what do you do with the toys you have tried or tested and don’t like?  I am sure the local charity shop would not be interested.  ‘Dildos for Africa’ doesn’t really have the same charity draw as the Red Cross or MSF .  Missy and I have our go to toys and on rare occasions we find something that is fun or can add an element of suspense to a scene.  All in all, sex toys are what you do with them and not what they do to you.  I bet some of your favourite memories involve a hairbrush handle or an old sock, or is that just us?


Image: Plymouth Herald

Posted in Memes and tagged , .

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