Lock down has produced a number of challenges for everyone, it’s a sliding scale.  Each day it becomes more normal, things that bothered you before now don’t, and things that didn’t now do, albeit temporarily.

I admit that I find the slow pace of life nice. The lack of cars, people and general background noise of humans is all but gone in our tiny part of Scotland. However, restricted movement is really strangling my throat of pleasure.  Working from home, or at home working, does not give me separation from home life, it’s a blurred image. Now, I know that the best way to overcome this is to take charge of the situation, accept this is the new permanent norm, for now.  My job requires me to support those that are engaged in a fixed process during the day. When things go wrong, you need to react, which makes planning your ‘at home working; day a challenge.  This test of will though stems from me, not work. If someone calls me and I am in a meeting online, the phone remains unanswered and usually the person works the problem out for themselves, as I was just the easy option.  If my boss wants to talk to me they have to book time in my diary.  So it’s me stopping me from taking time to get some pleasure.

I want to do pleasurable things, for me. I have a list as long as long as your arm that I need to do and would get pleasure from, and yet I want to commit real time to it, not just a stolen hour here and there. I would to do kinky things during the day, but we have other people in the house, and missy also has a job with similar unpredictable demands. Her role is very much a drain on her emotional reservoir and mine so mind numbing in terms reward that we are both very flat.  We have always agreed that relationships take effort, and yet at this juncture in history the effort required is very exhausting producing a catch 22 situation.

I love pleasure, giving and receiving, who doesn’t?  Unfortunately, as I said, mine is being strangled, and as always writing often puts things into perspective.  Carpe Diem!  This should be my new battle cry and accept the change in circumstances. Seek pleasure and squeeze the rock challenge for every drop of blood I can get out of it.  Oh bloody hell, I got all very weird there which is probably the outcome of writing at midnight.

I need to make small changes that can be glued in place before addressing the next.  The world may change, but we don’t have to behind our walls of a D/s relationship, everything should be really quite pleasurable!


Posted in Being a Dom and tagged , .


  1. I don’t know if this is a factor for you, but that “blur” you describe is — for me — exhausting, and this is why:

    What I do for a living is interaction-intensive and does not translate well to 2-D. The result of the stay-home situation though is that I’m working part of the time from home, which means people who would normally be accessing my services in a neutral space are now – via video conferencing – invading my home, which is my sacred space.

    It’s very uncomfortable. Not only because I don’t invite clients to my home as a general rule (but now they are “in” via video cam), but also because Home is where I go when work is done… And now when I come home, I have to work.

    The once-clear lines of demarcation are now blurred.

    And that ‘blur’ blots the color out of everything else that happens in that space and makes it all a big smudge.

    I definitely applaud you for your rock-squeezing attitude. 🙂

    I have to admit though, that as for myself, I’d much rather throw those rocks right now. Preferably at the head of the next person who says, “We’re all in this together.” 😉


  2. It’s not an easy transition from work mode to home mode when you are literally working in your home. Many here have discovered that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be either. I’ve worked from home for 2 years now and the one thing I can say for certain is that my situation is different as I had a choice. Those being forced to do so did not have the choice or the time to come to grips with it, which only adds to stress.

    I do hope you and Missy are able to find a way to separate them and get the pleasure you seek.

  3. I am having trouble with separating home from work and work from home too, and I totally agree with how Feve has described it. It’s not clients I am inviting into my home, but colleagues for meetings and this after I have vowed to never do it. I think this lockdown and the WFH thing just means we need to draw more clear lines between work and home life, even though both of them are now taking place in the same space…
    ~ Marie xox

  4. I have yet to experience that blur. I’m still required to go to the office for work. I wish that I could work from home.

    But I hope you are able to find a work/life balance now that you are both working from home.

  5. I agree with what others have said. Not being able to easily separate work from home is stressful. And it means that the stress of work can’t be left at work any more (if that was ever possible – I’m not very good at it). Having no definitive line between there and here (as everything is now here) means the whole freaking world is in our home and home is no longer the sacred haven it has been. At least in my experience. It’s like letting more water into the boat. It’s stressful. And I can’t wait to begin separating things again and getting the world out of my house.

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