An odd thing happened this evening.  I typed a post for the ‘Romance’ topic, and having asked missy what she thought, her response was interesting.  It transpired that I had written the complete opposite to her.  I had focused on my lack of romance and blamed it on D/s making me a bit too serious, whereas she converted my actions as a Dom into romantic gestures.  It gave way to me deleting my post and starting anew.

I am an old romantic at heart.  I like crooners, black and white movies (Brief Encounter – don’t get me started) and creating an old fashioned atmosphere.  Now I haven’t done many of these things for a while which is disappointing, however, it transpires romance lives on in D/s quite well.

“I love you, Laura. I shall love you always until the end of my life. I can’t look at you now cause I know something. I know that this is the beginning of the end. Not the end of my loving you but the end of our being…”

Brief Encounter – 1945. Dir-David Lean

I love doing things for missy. Doesn’t matter what it is, I get satisfaction from looking after her and making sure she is safe. For those who know her, you will have understood very quickly that she doesn’t need to be looked after as she is a very capable woman. However, missy does like to be looked after, made to feel safe and at times so safe she feels unable to do things for her self. This is a choice, not a condition so please don’t be fooled in thinking that I have changed her internal resilience.

Having listened to missy’s perspective on romance and D/s I do see how my actions, and hers, keep romance very much alive between us. Keeping her car filled with fuel, opening doors, ordering food, taking clothing returns back, managing difficult phone calls and numerous tasks she would prefer not to do. It is not all one sided though, I too am looked after in many ways that keeps a connection between us. Romance is many things to many people, and for us it’s not so much the act but the impact and ensuring that the other person knows why you are doing something and how that translates.

Romance for me is reminding yourself how well off you are with the person you are with and finding ways to say thank you.

Posted in Being a Dom and tagged .


  1. Something you said really resonates with me- need versus want (like). This reminds me of something S told me in the beginning of our relationship, “You should never rely on the need of someone, but focus on the want of someone and when you do you will have a long lasting relationship.” I have never needed him but I want him in my life every day and we have made it 13 years.

  2. Sometimes it is just how you interrupt things. In this case, it’s looking at how we show and feel romantic that’s maybe a bit untraditional. 😉 Glad you saw the other side. 🙂😊🙂

  3. ohhhhh i love Brief encounter – ohhhh i do
    I drove past the station recently and wanted to jump out and “fan”
    I love your header image as well – but i am NOT romantic at all!

  4. So in a way one of Missy’s love languages is those little things you do (not so little) such as the gas tank full. I have been going back and reading her older stuff (yours too) and Missy’s mindset reminds me of myself in some ways…..

    I enjoyed the piece.

Please leave a thought if you have one..

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.