Resets – #Tellmeabout

In a dark corner of warehouse there is probably is a man desperately trying to make a reset button.  His vision is that when you hit it, all previous misdemeanours are evaporated without discussion and everything starts again, like a new day.  But this man, whilst being a visionary, is ironically short-sighted.  If such a button existed how would we grow in terms of creating better relationships, evolving even?  Well obviously, no such device will ever be created, and so we must just battle on, making mistakes, making up, making mistakes, making up… you see the pattern I am sure.

For missy and I, we try not fall into that pattern, but it happens, as do many of us.  It’s how we are made and to be consistently 100% at one with one another is a big ask. You can try to consider the other person in everything that you do, but sometimes it doesn’t work out.  We obviously discuss issues and try to resolve situations and make the future better, but what happens after?  If the D/s dynamic has been dented, how do you go about starting forward?  A good fuck often helps to clear the air with lots of emotion to burn up.  However, sometimes a formal reset is needed to address the balance of power.

Spanking has always been our go to, although I admit I cannot remember the last reset wecarried out. That is not because we haven’t needed to, it mainly because my D/s focus is very blurred and has been for a while. It’s a life thing, a mental downturn that requires not just energy but energised focus. I suppose in some way we have found a low level to operate on. It’s not where we would love to be, and maybe not where we would like to be, however, we are where we and we are happy together and still very much love one another.

Resets have always been good for us.  Firstly, to establish verbally why such an event is taking place, to outline the method being used, what the desired outcome will be, and for how long it will take.  The result has nearly always been positive and often surprising how much missy will take in terms of pain to get her own head straight.

Writing this post reminds me of the importance of such events and that one is long overdue for both of us.  Sometimes you need to see the writing on the wall (or page) before you realise what change can bring about.



Posted in Being a Dom, Building A Dynamic and tagged , .

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