Scenes – #Tellmeabout

The word ‘scene’ in a D/s context is pretty well chosen when you consider one of the general definitions; ‘a sequence of continuous action in a play, film, opera, or book.’ I suppose to some extent sexual play is an opera, film, book or play; lots of drama, slightly voyeuristic from a Dom’s perspective, staged and a surprise with a an orgasm or two at the end!

Let’s face it though, not all scenes are mind blowing, some are filled with mistakes and miscommunication. A B-rate movie, badly written pulp fiction, poorly conducted and directed all rolled into one. So what makes a good scene?

Without doubt, mind-set has to be a priority. Being in the mood to start with gets you all full of confidence to step into the lime light. If you’re going to put on a performance, best advertise I say. A text or verbal notification does set the tone for later in the day, however, a one off comment wont make this a box office smash, oh no, you have to work at it!

There is a quite a lot of pressure on a Dom to create scene, and this isn’t always a good thing.  I would say that if you are single minded and have the abilty to turn yourself on by getting ready for your scene, then all the better for you.  One issue is that generally managing a scene can be one way traffic in terms of physical interaction.  Sure, you have to instruct your sub to get in the place or position you want them to be, however, unless you have instructed them to provide physical connection, it is the Dom doing the giving; and this is where effective method of communication is key.

How do you know what you are doing is having the right effect?  Maybe your sub is very vocal, in which case feedback is loud and clear. Maybe your sub does not make any sound at all!  So, what are your queues that everything is going in the right direction?  I guess you could ask, which sounds reasonable, however, if you keep asking it does sound like you’re not very confident in what your doing and may put the sub in a state of ill-ease.  You could have a set of instructions that gives the sub power to feedback back and offer some direction as to what is working well.  In my case, I tend to watch missy’s body language. For example, I know when she going to cum or building up to one by the tone of her skin on her bum. There is a light orange peel effect that creeps in and gets more pronounced as the orgasm grows, and once seen I know it’s all downhill from there!

Planning a scene can be complex, especially if there is role play involved or multiple toys.  The order has to be right, there has to be progression. Heavy impact straight off is really going desensitise your partner and leaves nothing to follow up. Start slow and work up is the common advice, unless of course your dynamic involves a good thrashing to get things going; each to their own!

I didn’t really start this post to provide information, and yet it has morphed into that. Normally I just waffle on with no real direction!  Scenes for me are very time consuming and exhasting, if done right!  I have found I can lose 2 hours without even noticing. Missy, once on the right path, is very susceptbale to nearly all forms of play and at times I too can be swept up by that.  The foot over the break for us is our knowledge of limits, which I admit are very few. All the same, we have an undertanding, a set of rules that lets us do things to one another within the boundaries of our relationship. I could count the amout of hard limits on one hand, which is pretty amazing to my mind consdiering we have only been at this for a a handful of years!

To end my post, I finish with a quote from the closing scene of Metropolis (1924) that seems to fit well when involved in BDSM play.



Posted in Being a Dom, Building A Dynamic and tagged , , .


  1. An interesting post. Not sure knowing about the orange peel effect will add to my experience but I don’t suppose I can change it. I do think it must be hard being the Dom with all the planning and responsibility. I think we Sub’s get off lightly ?

  2. Really interesting post. It always amazes me the amount of planning and for thought that PS has before the idea of the scene is suggested to me. I am very lucky that I just get to turn up and enjoy the play.

    I see what you mean about Doms not necessarily being in the right mind just before a scene as there heads must be full of what they have planned. Maybe I need to suggest some warm up techniques for PS to be included at the beginning?

  3. I totally get that feeling of planning a scene then not being in the right mindset. It’s like cooking dinner then not feeling hungry when it’s made. Usually it takes a bit of time to really get into it.

  4. Maybe you should apply Fake tan Missy hide the orange??… make him work harder lol ….

    I do think you’re right tho, the work falls on the Dom, but at least we get to enjoy it ??

  5. I love that you are so attuned to missy that you are able to recognise the physiological signs of her approaching orgasm! (My partner tells me that he can tell my signs because I suddenly go quiet!) I just love the intimacy involved in that kind of knowledge. Great post ?

Please leave a thought if you have one..

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.