It has taken me a long to get to grips with humiliation. Getting my head around the topic was constantly blocked by something, and for the life of me I just couldn’t break through the invisible barrier.
Missy gets off being made aware that her body is giving her away when involved in activies that nice girls would not. Being a fine up-standing member of the community she most certainly should not be enjoying having her arsehole fingered, or her nipples becoming errect through caning. That would not do at all. The thought of anyone knowing that she secretly like being face-fucked when greedy and desperate for cock, and reminded that she enjoys it too much, would be so embarassing.
So what was my barrier? Good manners and politelness actually. Being conditioned to be verbally kind and considerate does not lend it self to making observational comments on the sweat and spunk covered mess found smiling on the floor. No, that was hard for me to dig deep and press those buttons. Missy’s humiliation triggers are deep in her head and to tell me would not make them triggers any longer. So how does one overcome the inabilty to mind read? Well, reading her blog is a good start and secondly being a good at ‘Catch Phase’ the game. The show host use to say, “Say what you see, say what you see.” And this was good advice for me. Making observationsal comments on how I feel about how many fingers she can take (it’s almost a fist) or a swollen clit all adds to the humiliation factor.
I have moved on from such muted political correctness in the bedroom; there is not place for it in humiliation play. All I need now is to think of things to comment on..
It’s interesting to see how you struggled with this and why. Thank you for sharing.
That say what you see is a great piece of advice. Having to rewire yourself takes time.
As someone who enjoys erotic humiliation I can completely understand how missy can not just tell you what works. As it is something that makes you squirm I guess the immediate reaction could be off-putting aswell. I know I can seem like I’m shying away from what PS is saying when really I want to hear more, if that makes sense. Also the ‘say what you see’ is brilliant advice.
Very interesting you shied away. I think to perhaps an extent it’s the same with me too. The ‘mind reading’ aspect especially. “Will she go for this/won’t she?’ As captive says “I won’t know until I’m in the moment’. But we have discussed what definitely isn’t on the agenda. But even then, that’s now, things can change in the future. Great post.