When I was a kid I played two roles in school Christmas Nativity plays. One year I was a Roman soldier and another year one of Joseph’s (Technicoloured Dream Coat) brothers.  There was something about dressing up and being someone else for a while. Okay, this was 45 years ago, however, I can still remember my lines therefore I am convinced I was destined for the stage!

I found role play really puts you out there under the spot light, school play aside.  I find that it makes me more vulnerable than most things.  It’s that bungie jump effect, in head first with no return. In character, enter stage left, and off you go.  However, despite coming over all serious for a role, it’s not that easy is it?  For me the enemy is laughter.

There’s nothing wrong with laughter I know, the more the merrier I say, as long as it is in the right context. I watch the outtakes of programmes where actors continually trip up on the same line or sound. Over and over they try, each time telling themselves to pull it together.  It’s a trigger, and we all have them.  It’s not as bad getting the giggles when you shouldn’t.  I can’t remember the last time that happened; you know, that giggle monster that creeps up and keeps setting you off in meetings, weddings, funerals or during sex.  Role play though makes me laugh due to the ridiculous characters we have brought into the bedroom. In the early days I really didn’t manage it well…

When I first started seeing missy, before D/s, we were fucking like rabbits and exploring all the things our previous partners wouldn’t.  I came home one day and was greeted by missy dressed as a schoolgirl, a rather sexy one too. She explained that she had been a bad girl (obviously) and that she had been sent to wait for me, the head teacher, to come back and deal with her.  I should point out that she was in full character all warmed up, and I had just walked through the door from work stone cold sober!  I tried to engage with her in a figure of authority role and trying to make it sexy.  Due to her continual confessions of feeling naughty and wanting to find sexual penance, I said, (please don’t ask where this came from)

“Right, let’s telephone your mother and she what she has to say about this!”

It was only when I had the phone in my hand did I see the look on missy’s face that said, quite clearly. that maybe a bucket of ice water over her head would be sexier than introducing her mother into the scene!  It was agreed that maybe both us needed to be on the same page from the word go in future.  Unfortunately, the next time we tried it and missy was dressed as a sex worker with over the top make up and clothing, her mother came around and used our spare key as there was no answer to her knocking.

I do have an unethical doctor character, who armed with white coat, pens in top left hand pocket, speculum and other clinic gadgets will examine you and test your orgasm reflexes. That has brought about laughter a few times when I have over done the role, and on occasion it’s fallen flat due to lack of commitment; it happens!  Generally, though Doctor HL does a good job on expanding the role, and other things!

Missy’s best character by far for fun, laughter, energy, and a challenge, is Elf.  This little person arrived one Christmas.  Missy is good at role play and with this cheeky Elf in town she was able to pass the responsibility of her sexual needs off on someone else!  You see, Elf likes to fight back, wrestle, be cheeky, be quite juvenile, and be fucked in the arse. Missy doesn’t like any of those things, but Elf does….  And so, during our role play Elf said I could fuck her if I could catch her. She struggled, kicked, crossed her legs, folded her arms, licked me, and may have even spat at me slightly, just to stop me.  I am twice the weight of missy and do have some experience of immobilising people, so eventually she changed tactics when things didn’t go the way she planned.

“Oh something hurts down there!”

I stop

“Ha! got you to stop”

I start all over again, and when I finally get her where I want her, legs fixed open, cock ready,

“Get off or I’ll fart on you!”

That’s it, the ultimate cock block, laughter, and loads of it. Collapsing in a sweaty heap, both exhausted and bruised, we slowly let the laughter dissipate.  Elf, with small hat on head, slips off her knickers, climbs on top of me, and looking deep into my eyes….pokes her tongue out and make a silly noise.

Who says role play must be serious?