It didn’t take long for our kink to become the norm. The gloves were off, well the latex ones were one, but you get the metaphor I’m sure!   We started to spend money on toys, lots of toys, lots of crappy toys and some good ones. We made mistakes, got things right and then wrong again. It was all a bit of a whirl!

Our for encounter with another D/s couple happened through coincidence. We were due to visit my parents who live hundreds of miles from us, and as luck would have it we met a couple online who lived very near them.  We arranged to meet and have dinner. It was all a bit surreal to be honest. The conversation was very polite at the start, and then, as the waitress arrived I think the word dildo was thrown across the table. It was going to be an interesting night!  Unbeknown to missy, I had arranged with the other Dom that we would bring lube and butt plugs with us. After the main meal we produced the said items and had the subs leave the table to get ‘dressed.’  Both the ladies were somewhat speechless and disappeared to meet our request.  The atmosphere at the table was somewhat different after that, and I think for the better!

The couple we had met were members of an online community we had found.  Over time we became friendly two other couples, one from Scotland and another from Norway.  We were so very international with our D/s!  An opportunity presented itself through an event being held in London. I made a suggestion to the site owner, of which we were members, that this could be a European gathering. As they were based in the US and wanted a wider audience it was agreed to advertise the event.  Due to the majority of the site’s members living in the USA that did present a problem, however, not so for the friends we had made.  And so, to cut a long story short we all met in London and attended Sexpo!  The event was ok, nothing special, but meeting a group of D/s couples made the weekend complete. Since then we have kept the members of that group pretty close and have either stayed in their houses or ours.

During these visits conversation obviously is about D/s and sex. All the discussions you can’t have with your everyday friends.  When you have seen intimate photos of each other online, the barriers are already down, and conversation flows quite nicely.  It feels normal, comfortable if you will.  For just that small amount of time you can be the couple you want to be out in the open and enjoying all the stuff that gets you exited with other people. I know that some readers have the advantage of being in groups that meet regularly or lived in places with more opportunity. That unfortunately is not our situation and opportunities have to be made in the very narrow corridor of life where D/s exists. We do okay, however, it would be  nice to have more freedom.

My final words on this topic are that I recommend as supported network, whether that be on-line or face-to-face.  Starting out in a D/s relationship from Zero and just having books and articles to read is a long and rocky path. I am not saying that interacting with people isn’t fraught with issues, we too have been victim to that in both terms of following other people’s interpretation of D/s or getting caught up in others’ enthusiasm.  When all is said and done, it’s good to have friends – so choose wisely!