Oh my god, I laughed so hard. Not at the poor individual that made himself look stupid in front of his wife and councillor by using an unfamilar term; it was because I have done it too.
The very quick back story is that a couple go to see a sex therapist as part of a BBC TV programme and he says he’s not into foreplay. The therapist asks what is his interpretation of foreplay? He says, “You know, fingering……………….and…………cunnilingus”
He immediately realises that the word he just used was about as alien to his vocabulary as is Swahili. His wife looks across at him and says,
“Cunnilingus? Really? Why not oral sex?”
He just looks at her with a ‘why the fuck did I say that look’ about him.
Have you every done that? Gone to see a professional about something and tried to use the words they would use to describe what the problem is. From personal experience I have tried to tell a mechanic that my car was having ‘compression’ problems when I had no idea what that really meant, and should have said I had no power. I told a doctor once that I had signs of blood in my stool (don’t worry it wasn’t serious). Stools! I felt a dick using the word because a stool is for sitting on and the person who invented the term was just damn lazy. Thank Christ he wasn’t sitting on an inflatable penguin when he allocated a random tag for it! Why didn’t I just say Poo?
I’ve used Rectum for my arse, Meatus for the end of my cock (that almost made me laugh when I typed it, let alone use the word), oesophagus when I had a very bad throat infection, and my all time look-like-a-dick was when I told a doctor that I a serious pain in my Patella. I could not figure for the life of me why he was having me bend my knee when it was my shoulder that was killing me! Hence I now have stopped using words beyond my capability.
Returning to our man with his wife and therapist; he looked a complete knob to be honest. He was embarrassed, so was his wife and the therapist just had pity in her eyes. So next time you share you personal experience of someone burying too many of your Proximal phalanx into the Vestibule and causing a Perineal tear, just make sure it’s to a doctor you’re speaking to and not the plumber!