That Was The Week That Was (Jan – Mid-Month)

TW-TW-TW started out as a scribble on the back on an envelope which soon became too full and too incriminating to have lying around!  My scribbles were my own and the accountability to complete them rested with me only. This not only meant it was easily lost under the pile of other old envelopes I write on, it also meant they didn’t get done!  I decided that transparency and nudity of my aims in public was a better route for me.

January; Mid- Month

It has been an interesting couple of weeks here at HisLordship’s Castle!  Since my last post refocusing on some missed opportunities, missy has been writing about control and why she desires a need for such things.  You would think after 4 years of marriage, and few more years on top, that I would have a good understanding of her needs across the entirety of mental and physical stimulation.  Well, they do say every day is a school day, and D/s is no exception.  I found her post to be enlightening, although the majority of the content was of no surprise to me.  What struck a nerve in the conversation that followed between us was that I was allowing control to pass to her because, in some small part, due to her chosen lifestyle.  To be precise, work, family, and her own crazy work ethic to meet expectations that she sets herself. As you will see in her post, a lot of this is to do with self-management and control that is deep rooted.

I came to the realisation that because missy lives in a complex universe of demands on her time, that management and control of her does require some engineering. By that I mean her week does need to be broken down into activities and the relationships between them analysed before everything else she wants to achieve can be prioritised.  This obviously takes work, and so it should when trying to keep a lot plates spinning.

My aim for the rest of this month is to look very carefully at missy’s current work rate in terms of blogging, exercise and sleep. I have already said that the daily blogging routine is unachievable when working full-time, a family and joint managing the chats and admin for The SafeworD/s Club.  It is better the put a few fire breaks in before the forest burns down completely! The exercise, however, is not so much about making sure she has hit her targets, it is more to do with the fact that her targets may be unachievable, and for me to tell her where I see conflict in her schedule; this also applies to getting the right amount of sleep.  Health first, internet commitments second!   One big challenge before the close of this month is that I will be in Africa for a week.  That is quite good in terms of time difference for the UK, however, internet can be a bit hit and miss to some of the places I have been. I also do not see the trip as so much of a hurdle in our relationship as I have done previously, however, it will present additional demands on missy.  Having moved a degree of responsibility from her on a domestic daily basis, and some decision-making, she will now have a heavier workload.  Prioritising is key as missy will stay up past midnight to complete everything if unchecked!  And so, Saturday morning will be very much a look forward to next week as part of our usual weekend check-in. The outcome should be a clear understanding as to what is important and what can be achieved sensibly.  Well that is the plan!!



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  1. It is great that you are looking out for missy in this way. As someone else who places a lot of pressure on herself to achieve the often unachievable, I understand how important this is. For me it is almost like someone has to give me permission not to do some of the things on my ever growing list otherwise I will continue to try and do it all. Nobody else expects me to complete the list but I still can’t let it go myself. I have to be told. I then feel lighter and freed somehow. I can almost feel the stress dissipate there and then. I wonder if this is true of missy too?

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