As some of you know, I have to travel away from home to earn a living a fair amount. Most of the places I visit are not holiday hotspots, however, once in a while I get lucky and get one or two evenings to eat out and meet the wildlife! This post isn’t travel writing, although I think that would be fun!
This morsel of amature scribble is more to do with other people’s relationships and how I perceive them. Now, when I travel for work I am invariably with a colleague. My line of work usually needs two people in attendance, which is quite often someone I have worked with before in the past. It is only when you take them out of an office environment, add a couple of beers, turn the temperature up another 20 degrees and throw in the distant smell of foriegn drains do you get to talk properly. For the sake of me falling face first with boredom into my goat curry, I always ensure male colleagues know that I have no interest, what-so-ever, regarding football, or soccer if that’s what you prefer. Mention that particular sport and I glaze over. Sport is a personal as religious beliefs and politics, the later I am happy to debate should they really wish to. Although it will probably end up like a match between Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers, which to be honest would be a debate about all three subjects in one neat bundle anyway! Nothing like a bit of sporting sectarianism to get the evening going..
In the absence of sport, religion and politics, there’s always BDSM. Actually there’s not is there? These four little letters will make most people feel very uncomfortable if dropped in between a bowl of nuts and a second round of drinks. What I really like to do is examine the relationship with their partner, current, past or future I don’t really mind. People watching fascinates me, however, what really blows my whistle is people talking about social interaction. Let’s try a statement like, ‘I managed to sneak off to the pub for a couple of pints the other night.’ Now first off, I’m unsure why he is ‘sneaking’ off anywhere? Does she not notice he is not in-house? I’ve never understood the concept doing anything similar without communicating that first. Let’s try another; ‘When I get back I might get lucky if I play my cards right!’ Now obviously he and his wife are not going to be playing a game of chance to determine whether or not sex will result. I have to say though that is that were the case it certainly sounds kinky and I would have far more respect!
I do sit and smile internally how comical these guys sound and how much I could provide some basic relationship guidelines regarding effective communication. Oddly enough, a large part of their work is just that, communication; ironic really. Please don’t think I being holier than thou with this, it couldn’t be further from the truth. I just want these people to step out of the 1970’s and look what alternative is on offer . Surely life would be much more enjoyable not having to operate in a confusing relationship?
I suppose I look at my life and realise that my relationship with missy would never be like that, even pre-D/s. We are not stacked that way, however, a power struggle did exist once she got used to me and the relationship settled down. I think a lot of it is aligning behaviours, be it habits, rules or standards. These do take time, and yet D/s has a nice way of ironing out the creases much faster. I did recently try to covertly convert a colleague with marriage problems, however, I soon realised that he was the problem and the wrong person to be speaking to as he though his wife was the issue. That relationship would need £50 an hour support from someone far more patient than me! You can’t win them all.
Not all my encounters are negative of course. I see positive relationships all the time, the majority of the good ones are elderly people who have worked out who does what better and the roles are clearly defined. To most it looks very male chauvinistic and yet below the surface are years of working together and support. Yes, it is a generation thing, but there are lessons to be learnt.
And so my travels continue, ‘to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before.’ Well maybe not a five-year mission like Captain Picard on the starship Enterprise, but certainly a world of discovery and learning by listening to others and maybe picking up some wisdom along the way!