Our D/s journey has been by and large one of discovery, both personal and as a team. It hasn’t all been about the power exchange and sexual exploration, there’s a lot more to it. We have both bought baggage to our second-time-around marriage and without D/s we may not have addressed it in such an open and supportive way. Another element has been in terms meeting new people and discovering the exciting things they do. Writing has a big one for missy and the development of her blog, which has been very successful and produced some really nice feedback.
My role in our relationship, above all others, is to protect her and keep her from harm; to assess the risks and ensure that enough elements are there to mitigate exposure to harm. To stay diligent one has to be objective, almost detached to have good periferal vison of what’s coming. Unfortunately, by the nature of our exciting exploration, it is easy to be consumed with the freedom and liberation to be who you actually are. By default there is always a price to pay when your eye goes off the ball!
As part of managing missy’s body issues that have been with her since university days, I set out to help overcome this internal dilemma that she wrestles with. Having met some really inspiring people in the sex blogging world, a number of great challenges have been placed before us that would really push some personal boundaries and help conquer her demons. The world of erotic photography is just one, and one that has blinded both of us somewhat.
The details are not important but surfice to say our blogs viewed by someone very close to us which has caused them some personal distress, and by default, us too. The blame, if a pointy finger needs a target sits with me, the Dom. I failed to correctly assess the potential damage of getting involved in a project that exposed her in a potentially negative and damaging way should it be viewed by certain groups. I allowed the both of us to be carried away on the back of the enthusiasm and lovley attitudes to sex by people who can operate with more freedom and safety than us. I can say without reservation that the repercussions of recent events has deeply upset missy and it will be a long time before bridges are rebuilt.
One of the lessons learnt in the last 36 hours is that not only should you judge the merit of any endeavour by your own values, it’s the risk that needs to be evaluated against your own environment, regardless of the attraction. To go forward we need to take quite a few steps back to assess where we are and agree what is acceptably manageable for everyone.
To throw the proverbial baby out with the bath water would a real mistake in terms of hours devoted and soul searching to produce written words with influence. And so, blogs will be reshaped and more time spent looking at the desired outcome of future projects. After all, who knows what doors will open next?