KinkFest UK 2018 – Reflection

I’ve only just walked through the door after a very draining seven hour drive home through the rain. Well, just walked through, is a mild exaggeration, nachos and wine may have passed my lips first!

So yes, we have been away to KinkFest, our first visit to an event focussed on many aspects of kinkery. We scoped out the workshops we wanted attend in advance, and when the final programme was announced with an expanded explanation, a few tweeks were made very quickly.  Now, as you will see in the title I have said this is a reflection and not a review. I think it a little unfair to write a review having not been asked to do so and that any expectations I had of the event are my own based on my interpretations of the programme. I may comment on one or two things, however, this is about what I learnt about my self having been exposed to lots of other lovely kinky people.

Our first workshop was presented by Michael & Molly who shared the dynamic of their 24/7 D/s relationship.  It was interesting to listen first hand about another couple’s dynamic and the similarities with our own. Obviously drawing lines is easy to do when you want to, however, there were elements regarding Molly’s need to have submission taken from her and not readily given. She, as does Missy, has a strong personality and absolute capitulation is not an option, and therefore listening to Micheal’s management helped me understand certain ways to avoid contempt (in the nicest possibly way!).

A number of workshops we attended didn’t really teach us anything (I almost launched into a review mode there, and pulled in the reins) and yet it did prompt discussion later and therefore must have got the old grey matter thinking which is a good thing.

Now there were some practical sessions, one in particular that deserves a mention. Flogging with Amelia Hawks was both entertaining and informative. This lady knows her stuff and and makes her own stuff too! Please follow the link if you know nothing about her, it’s worth it! I came away with some homework and a new shopping list which should consume the rest of the year! I found something I want to learn more about and become more proficient in.

Orgasm control with Amy and Demon Banana was both humorous and educational.  I would not say I learnt anything about putting my fingers inside a person with a vulva, which was clearly demonstrated in a very sporting and political way by Amy.  My learning was about human interaction and behaviour. Despite having a very large audience in a very cramped space and being brought to almost orgasm (she had been denied for a week despite much masturbation) the connection between the two presenters was fantastic to watch. I learnt that fun really is a key underpinning element of sexual play as is communication. Both these were visible by the bag full.  I should publicly apologise to Amy for complimenting her at the play party on her confidence being so young. She is in fact 27 and whilst not meaning to sound condescending, it probably did. My revised pat on the head (is that condescending too?) is that Amy displays far more confidence that I ever did when younger and probably even now at the ripe old age of 51!

There was a play party on Saturday evening which was our first experience in this kind of setting. I have thought a lot about playing in public with Missy, and with our play being very sexual, the possibilities seemed promising.  This, however, was not to be the case mainly due to reality falling short my own visualisation of what could be.  The room was not laid out in the way I envisioned it might be and the general conduct of other people placed pressure on those playing to move along quite quickly.  Now that may be the norm, however, for an inexperienced person this did not press my buttons. All was not lost you’ll be pleased to read as Missy met up with SubBee a fellow blogger and lover of needle play!  Her and her husband kindly invited us to watch their private session which was fascinating!  Missy took a real interest in this and I admit that I would like to have a go – not on the pointy end though!

All in all the event gave us plenty to talk about on the drive home and a few take away project to broaden our horizons. After all, that’s what these events are supposed to do, and I think it achieved that. Would we go again next year? Probably not, although that is more a financial and logistical issue than anything else.

Posted in Being a Dom.


  1. Thanks for sharing! It is nice to read your thoughts as Lars and i have considered attending events like these, and it helps! Glad you had a nice time 🙂

  2. Sounds incredibly similar to our experience at a Kinkfest here in the states. Not exactly what I expected, but gave great food for thought and opened some new lines of communication between Professor and I. Glad you had a similarly pleasing experience.

  3. Pingback: Revelations – submissy

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