Chivalry is dying?


Author Jim Butcher is quoted to say, “For me chivalry isn’t dead; it’s an involuntary reflex.” To some level I personally agree, as this is how my mind works. What isn’t clear is how he defines chivalry. For me it is about being aware of your surroundings, reacting accordingly and appropriately. For example, I would always stand and offer my seat to an elderly person, male or female, more out of respect than anything else. I open doors for men and women equally especially if I am in a group, or entering a shopping centre, where I might hold a door half open after I have passed through it.

Quite recently I ran for a train with a female colleague in Dubai. In my rush I failed to notice I had entered a ‘pink’ carriage – no men allowed! My error was soon realised and before my colleague could drag me over the line (yes, a line) in to the mixed sex area, (no sex being offered) I turned and apologised to the ladies in the immediate area. In another situation I saw a very healthy young lady standing on London Underground train with one arm above her head holding a safety handle. (Ever since I was a kid I thought they looked phallic!) Anyway, I gave my seat to the young lady as I could see one or two business types getting into her personal space; she accepted, and she knew why I had offered. When I went to leave the train, she touched my arm and said thank you. It makes your day better when you can do something for a stranger or a stranger does something for you.

I am in a D/s relationship and I insist that I open my wife’s car door for her. People see this and comment, and more often it is positive. Am I being chivalrous or just paying special attention that is not run-of-the-mill for most people? I admit it come close to throwing down my coat over a puddle, although I’m not THAT keen!

Being observant and kind by offering seats or holding doors does not make you more of a potential rapist, or disrespectful to women. It makes you half civilised and a contributor, not a leech on society.

Women are just percentage of the gender pool I do things for as a human being to say, ‘I see you and I recognise you!”

Inspiration from

Posted in Dominant Reflections and tagged .


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