My Dominance Up Close And Personal In 20 Days #9

Around My Dominance

Fortunately for me, Sunday was quiet.  The reason I say fortunate is for the pure fact that I forget to mention something important yesterday.  I purchased Missy a new day collar for her birthday, and it had arrived.   The wearing of a collar is very important to her, and therefore the style needs to be correct. I had in fact ordered one previously, and whilst it looked nice on-line,IMG_0167 1 it somewhat let it self down in reality.  So this time we went for a molten silver circle on a silver chain which felt right. With something so personal it has to look good and feel good too.  So with box in hand we retired to the bedroom, took off the old, and on with the new.  I have to say, it was a good choice!

Sunday morning did start off with a conversation about clothes. Missy and I are attending an event that requires alternative clothing; it’s a fetish club, therefore jeans and a jacket won’t pass!  We have been once before so we know the kind of thing you should be wearing.   Missy has been working on what to wear for sometime and small parcels arrive by mail daily containing all sorts of finery. Missy has posted on many occasions about body image and in fact has been engaged in little photography of her of late.  The challenge I was faced with on Sunday walked very closely with us attending or not attending.  Now this is not a Missy specific issue, it’s our issue, let me explain;  More often than not, or never, if truth be told, my wife will give two sides of an answer to any question. She encourages our children to examine every facet if possible before making a decision.  Me, well I would prefer to go with my immediate decision and stick with it. If it goes wrong, change to and move on.  It must scare the pants of Missy to watch me, however, she does not want the responsiblity and would like me take charge, just as long as she knows I have weighed up all the options!

Where was I? Clothes and what to wear. Normally I support the wearing of clothes by giving my opinion on whether it’s sexy, smart, nice etc.  I think I have good taste in women’s clothes. Every year up until recently I purchased a dress as part of Missy’s Christmas gift and never once got it wrong. I know what I like!  Our dilemma was whether Missy should wear her chosen outfit, or something more daring to please me.  Now, the club we are attending is in Scotland, and as such kink clubs here have dress rules. Not only do the rules state what is not acceptable, they also state was is allowed in term of flesh on show.  No nipples or general genitalia to be shown, even through material.  I personally would like Missy in a cat mask and shoes, full stop.  But no, this is licencing laws as dictated by the local authority. Travel not 500 metres from the club and you can get two professional nipples stuck right up in your face for £50. Double Dee standards if you ask me.

Clothes! What to wear? As a Dom I need to offer reassurance, practicality and a plan we can agree on.  This took time and on one occasion I thought I could save myself a lot of grief by saying the event was off for us. However, part of my training for Missy is for her to show herself off and be more comfortable with the concept.  She does not really like this, does not really want this and yet does it for me. Having said that, she does like it when it all goes well!  I worked very hard to listen (I’m learning) to everything Missy was saying and tried to clarify what it was she was feeling. Finding the patience to work through this was hard. Not patience in Missy, but within me, as this is a hard-wired thing in humans when challenged, that fight or flight response. You feel challenged because something isn’t taking the easy route, the path that offers no resistance and just capitulates; basically it’s the route of harder work! It is an effort to take a deep breath and really try to find a workable outcome in a situation.  It is worth the effort though as this spills over into your everyday life. Just responding with a ‘yes’ for an easy life means you stop listening.  This particular event could have gone nipples up really quickly, and yet it didn’t.  I was treated to numerous floor shows full of bustles, stockings, knickers, bras, shorts, hats, shoes, boots and lots of nudity.  Who says there’s no fun in crisis management!!

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  1. However, part of my training for Missy is for her to show herself off and be more comfortable with the concept. She does not really like this, does not really want this and yet does it for me.

    This is worth an entire blog, just on its own. Slaves and submissives are often happen to hide in the shadows of their Dominant. Should we try to change that? if so why? and if so, how?

    • I prefer to be half in half out of the shadows when out with Missy. I enjoy watching others people’s reaction to her. She says away from events where having to speak to strangers is required, however, once engaged she is amazing to watch. There is a sexuality about her personality which is not a front, just part of her and I often wonder if people fall for it as I do!

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