Saturday is our day to communicate formally. We usually either have a cup of team in bed and talk, or if we wake up late, hunger tends to draw us to the kitchen. We try to get an hour of uninteruppted conversation before the kids start preparing for their Saturday jobs. As I has said before, these time are staggard and often flexible. You have to ask the the right questions continually to keep up!
As it turned out, we found ourselves in the kitchen ahead of the kids, and with breakfast consumed, we then tucked into our conversation. Over the years I have always frowned upon ‘downtime’ as it was too formal and I felt it was forced. There was an agenda and not a natural flow of conversation. To be perfectly honest, I hated it and hardly ever felt it was a positive experience. Only in recent months have we found our level where we could converse freely about D/s and the emotions that go with it. You may think this is an odd situation where two people cannot communicate when sat together, and you are half right. As a couple we communicate well; with 7 children you have too if you want to stay on top of eveything and look after each other. The difficultly I think I found with formal D/s conversation was the depth of the emotion involved. I really had the emotional depth of puddle before I met Missy. I rarely reflected, rarely analysed and never discussed how I felt emotionally. I would just re-adjust, make a new plan and move on. In recent years, having learned how to look back, I was suprised how much knew about myself! Like a work of art that had been painted over time and time again to save money on expensive canvas, each layer held something new. My mum always said I was ‘a real piece of work,’ which I assume meant trouble. Now I know she meant I was probably a hidden masterpiece….
It became apparent in my discussion with Missy that I had not picked up on part of a previously agreed plan. The details are irrevelant to the post, however, the important piece is how quickly I picked up on where I went wrong and not what I did wrong. The situation has since been resolved, but the frustration in Missy irritated me because I knew it was my lack of timely action that produced it; so deep downe I was irritated with myself, not her!
Talking in the morning sets a good tone for the weekend. We bounce off each other during the day which in turn helps manage any issues that invaribaly pop during the day. I appreciate I am writing to the converted here, however, for those who are not, discussing your relationship regualry does pour more emotional concrete into your foundation. Reading that sentence back makes it sound as though I’ve just invented the wheel, however, all I have really done it tell you I own a wheel and you might want one too!
We closed the Saturday off nicely with, almost, uninterrupted play. At the point of orgasm, Missy was jolted back into reality by the banging of the front door when one of our teeenagers returned home. As we lay there for a few seconds trying to workout which one it was, my urge to resume took over, and as the Scottish presenter of the TV show ‘Mastermind’ used to say when final buzzer caught him half way through a question, “I’ve started, so I’ll finish!”
Go for it!!
This has made me think about my own situation, but rather than write war and peace here.. I’m going to write my own ….
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Here’s to see the wheel and to add spokes for increased strength… 🙂