My Dominance Up Close & Personal in 20 Days #3

Around My Dominance (1)

I have had to review the aim and objectives of this project.  I looked back on the past few days and realised it was not looking as I intended.  As the reader you were getting a look into our sex life, which whilst I do not mind sharing,  that was not the main intention.  I wanted this to be a look at someone as normal as you may find in such a relationship and to see the up and downs I face.  It may be that you face them too, or if you had general constructive advice, you may comment to help me, and others.

To that end I will review Day 3 with the right pair of glasses on, and not the rose-tinted ones!

Yesterday was the last day of a long weekend for Missy, it had been her birthday on 7th and therefore a long weekend rounded that off nicely.  Prior to her birthday I had made a conscious effort to inform her that I would be focussing more on our D/s than of late and to slowly build in more structure.  I already had a list of things we had previously agreed upon, and punishments should she not meet the desired outcome.  unfortunately, I misplaced them in my head and set about thinking of different things; Learning outcome number 1 – don’t replace things without formally closing others off.  In my professional world this is called, ‘Management of Change.’ I do this a lot and it baffles me why I did not employ a tried and tested formula in my D/s life.

In the morning we had sex, I hope that is enough graphic detail?  The rest of the day was taken up with cleaning the house, my sister-in-law coming round to tutor our daughter in accountancy and then a long drive in the hills teaching the same daughter to pass her forthcoming driving test. Before my sister-in law left I sent a text to Missy in another room telling her to go to our bedroom, I departed upstairs to wait. My intention was to break her out of her typing on the computer and have her submit to me.  I waited a minute and still no sign, so I sent another; still nothing!  I crept downstairs not wanting to draw attention from the tuition class going on in the kitchen. I alerted Missy to look at her phone, she looked and nodded. Message received! Back up stairs I waited and on entering the room I sat missy down and told her to suck my cock, and look in the mirror to see herself.  I want to say it was a flop, but that would give you the wrong idea!  It was flat, the connection.  Out of the window I saw our son return from the barbers and, as is his want, he usually wants to show off his latest lady catcher!  Blow job over, although the subject not yet over..

On my return from our driving lesson, I was met with a cute sight. Missy was curled up on the sofa, headphones on and  watching (virtually) Anastasia with her friend who is a little, Emily.  There were bread sticks, humus, a glass of wine, and a cheeky grin on display.  She looked extremely happy, and who wouldn’t be!  She took off her head phones looking slighty guilty, or sexy, as they are close runners. “I don’t remember getting a text about wine.” I said.  She looked up at me and explained that she didn’t think I would mind at is was almost still her birthday!  It’s a long running joke that missy will label an indulgence a ‘birthday treat’ almost a month after her birthday!

The day’s autopsy isn’t pleasant, but necessary to examine where things could have been improved.  The day started well, we had sex, did I mention that?  Then there was the blow job.  Having discussed it with missy it was evident that spontaneity is not something I do often, although not unwanted.  I know that I didn’t support the act with dialogue as to why it was taking place or for that matter why I wanted her to look in the mirror. Missy admitted that she thought it looked disgusting and because the act is something she enjoys, this was a put off. However, if that is something I would like, then she would happily be trained if I wanted.  Now you may think it was stupid for me to allow this situation to occur, however, that conversation did take place, in my head and not vocally. Learning outcome number 2 – Be clear, be decisive and be in control.

Opening up the body of the day we find the wine situation from earlier on.  The wine isn’t the issue here, it’s the whole long weekend structure. The previous week there were marked improvements on the D/s front with communication, play and planning.  The long weekend allowed us to relax, enjoy the slow pace and be around one another. What I did not compensate for was a change in routine, and the need to either reaffirm our rules or give permission to relax them. Learning outcome number 3 – Be more aware of changing conditions and make clear plans to adjust to them. A bit like a long range weather forecast, which is an ironic analogy as it now snowing heavily outside and I said over breakfast this morning, “We probably won’t get any more after last night!” Learning outcome number 4 – Assume nothing, plan for everything!

I hope that today’s post doesn’t paint too bad a picture as I wanted to be honest and I felt the previous posts were somewhat disingenuous considering my initial aim.  I have things to work on, and so does missy, it’s a partnership but that can’t be an excuse for complacency on my part.

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  1. I really enjoyed reading this, HisLordship! I think that you clearly and honestly communicate some of the difficulties of being the Dominant and how you would like to handle these difficulties in the future. Thank you for sharing! I plan on sharing this with my Daddy when we are back in a good place for D/s. Thank you!

  2. She took off her head phones looking slightly guilty, or sexy, as they are close runners.

    I instantly gravitated to complete agreement…so very true.

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