The ‘New’ Anything.


In my last post, The Wall, I made reference to some Alpha males being unhelpful in man’s pursuit of development. I hope that the Alpha males I know personally or those online that I interact with could see it was not they I referred to. It is odd that I use the term ‘Alpha males,’ as this implies I am not, when in fact I am told that I am, and I know that I am not a Beta male (is that something?).  So who was I poking a finger at?

On line you will find millions of self-help pages. You know them, you’ve seen them and you may have clicked on them, but only before glancing around to make sure know one knows you’ve done it!  Is it the sigma of trying to help one’s self or that you know the advice contained within is going to be perceived as total crap. What is worse I wonder, being caught looking at Olympic female decathletes in tight-fitting wear (in the knowledge that you have never paid any attention track and field sports before) or an ‘I can change your life in five easy payments steps?’ For me it certainly the later, I personally love the Long Jump!

The people who concern me fall out of the self-help sales group; it’s the self help NEW MAN. Of course that is not a catchy title, how about exploiting something that is a positive element in good leaders, like….. ALPHA MALE! I know a guy who recently unsubscribed from such Twitter feeds. I’m sure he entered into the tweets hopeful that there was some really meaningful support. Instead he found misogynistic rhetoric, and borderline racism. Amongst the Savanna of life lurks predators. They appear as powerful as Lions, they certainly roar like them, and for sure they will lure you in and mess up your life with their big idea teeth. This is not limited pseudo Alphas of course. We have New religion and New nationalism. They are out there dressed up as something they not, and they prey on the susceptible. That is not to say the victims are weak by any means; they are everyday folks looking for answers, and yet there’s a cost.

My point is that people should be more mindful of wolves in sheep’s clothing.  It isn’t always money people are after, however, how many self-improvement programmes do you see free of charge?  It’s a hidden agenda I worry about.  Someone wanting to convert, to alter your thinking, to join a group and possibly convince you that your current lifestyle is less worthy.  Anyone who says, “This is the way it should be done,” or “You’re not a man unless you can bench press 300lbs with your testicles.” Is worth steering clear of.  I know I make light of it, however, there is a serious side and that is the fallout of making people feel less than they are.  Modern society with 24/7 media feed about people you will forget within an hour attacks the self esteem of many young people. They measure themselves against a plastic culture.  I grew up with heroes like Neil Armstrong,  Lord Baden Powell and the Six Million Dollar Man,  each in their own were aspirational.

By all means be part of a group and find positive role models or like-minded friends, however, as one great leader once said, or something similar, ‘Don’t ask what you can give them, ask what is in it for them.’ (My apologies post humorously to JFK)

Posted in Dominant Reflections and tagged .


  1. I have recently began unfollowing men who I thought had something to offer the world only to find the agenda was nowhere near my own.

    Then. I find men who are truly throwing ropes down to men in holes. Those in the holes must pull themselves up. I believe in the mission. There are men thirsting to fix what’s broken and their women hoping they will. It’s a team effort but the man has to fix himself before he can take part in fixing his marriage. I believe in this.

    There are plenty of self serving rah rah types. I see the “I hate all women” types. That’s sad. Women are to be celebrated for who they are not all bundled into one big group represented by the girl that broke his heart.

    We have the Red Pill guys. Again a lot of haters for the most part.

    We have the Playboys selling a lifestyle I am sure is mostly fiction.

    It’s a melting pot of charlatans and fakes. However there are men and women there that have written words that have touched me and helped me along my journey.

    For me, it s all about the D/s foundation Pillars. It’s not about becoming an Alpha. I don’t think that’s possible anyway. We are who we are. I can use whatever voice I have to further my views that’s D/a can help many.

    It’s about helping others for me and what I know about you and Missy, it’s the same for you two.

    Keep up the good work Sir.

  2. I wonder if it is this perception of weakness that stops some new Dom’s from seeking guidance/information, which ultimately leads to a very unhappy sub? I thought that with the scantily clad babes one finds on and around the resources it would be possible to “hide” research but I now wonder if it goes deeper, if the concept of “I don’t need help” mentally blocks all roads towards information that is about emotional development? I mean in the workplace training courses are acceptable… But there are so many subs who’s Dom’s won’t interact/read information and I find this strange.

    • I think you’re probably correct in your thinking Sweet. I found that a mentor system works as long as you initially have a conservative approach. Astronauts train in swimming pools, not space!

    • I know I was lost when I started all this. Curvey brought the idea to me. Otherwise we are no longer married today. But I was desperate to do anything to save my marriage.

      I was also overwhelmed at times, as HL can testify. Lots of good conversations with other men helped tremendously. I will also be grateful.

      So it quickly becomes the mission of many to “pay it forward”.

Please leave a thought if you have one..

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.