Despite being in the UK, I have a number of on-line friends who live in the USA, and in particular some in Texas. Many of you will have either seen the terrible weather or be experiencing it first hand. Due to my loose connection with Texas, I have been watching the news coverage with interest through the BBC.
I was surprised, to say the least, when I watched a press conference being held by FEMA, briefing on the current situation of rain fall and public evacuations. One of the spokesmen said, “We couldn’t have dreamt for this (weather) to happen.” I was slightly shocked that an organisation like FEMA, with whom I have a good working knowledge though my line of work, would not have planned for worse case scenario. To be fair, it’s not the first time there has been flooding along that coast line.
I’ll leave FEMA to sort out where to find more buckets and turn this post in direction it is supposed to flow. As I eluded to above, my line of work is managing crisis. I’m very good at cutting through the fog of war to find solutions, the pressure brings clarity in a weird sort of way; and so I find it funny that when I faced D/s crisis in the early days, I went blank! I mention this because I have spoken to a few Doms who have faced the same issue, only more recently. It was either scene going wrong or their sub becoming unhappy.
I have managed to boil it down to emotion investment. Being a Dom or a Sub entails a lot of emotional nakedness, and not to mention just plain nakedness. I know of people whose marriages were on the rocks and D/s saved them. Entering into that kind of recovery relationship must be really scary; make or break time! For Missy and I that wasn’t the case, we had expelled our broken marriages before getting together. D/s was an extension of our already kinky journey, however, that is not to say that everyday is a new one!
In essence we are placing a lot of emotions into a tight space, not dissimilar to animals on an Arc. Everything is getting on nicely until one of the Lions eats a duck, then feathers really start to fly. No wonder Noah had grey hair! I’m sure, if the tale is true, Mr & Mrs Noah sat down before hand and discussed the worst possible outcome before the rain started to fall. They strike me as a traditional couple with an interest in carpentry, livestock, and a big family. Obviously food and water wasn’t going to be an issue in the long term should thing not work out, and yet I like to think they discussed the emotional toll on themselves and their family. Not dissimilar to a D/s relationship, there’s a lot at stake and you want it to work, so it’s important to talk about what could go wrong and work through it. Certain scenes need prior discussion as do the rules that you both choose to live by.
So, before putting yourself out there, like FEMA and Noah, look at the risks involved and possibly the worse case scenario. Talk through it and have a recovery plan. You’ll get back on course much faster with one and learning from your mistakes may not have the same emotional obstacles.
I received an email from a friend living in Texas after he read my post. His account of the weather and the devastation is being caused is only a fraction of that being reported in the UK. Out of respect for those affected I would like to acknowledge that I was in no way trying to dumb down the trauma such events cause and hope that the people caught in the flood areas are safe and well.