‘Standards, Traditions and Values’ was a publication printed by the British Army many years ago for all of its members. Whether you were a ranking solider or an officer, it was aimed, literally, at you! Selfless commitment, Courage, Discipline, Integrity, Loyalty and Respect for Others are listed in great detail as to how they are applied in service.
I often find that the moral code I now live by includes all of the above. As a citizen of the world I have always tried to follow a similar code that was instilled by my parents, who themselves were born at the beginning of the Second World War and followed Victorian values for their parents. Being transparent for a moment, I will admit that I have strayed from this path in my early years and occasionally in the later. However, my strength lies in recognising the diversions and getting back on course as quickly as possible. Societies’s biggest problem, as I see it, is the fact that we have multiple generations who have no concept of Standards, Traditions and Values. Modern law is based on ancient religious moral and ethical codes, and yet I am not religious but try to be as law abiding as possible. Being religious does not place you above the law and I would argue that the same applies to an individual that fails to recognise that society has Standards, Traditions and Values, has a right to assume it is acceptable to be threat to others.
Being in a D/s relationship affords a certain number of labels and preconceived attitudes towards my chosen life style. In erotic literature I am infallible, drop-dead gorgeous, have a private income and a good sense of humour. In truth I am only one of these…..! In fact I am evolving everyday in our relationship. Things are thrown at us all the time and we overcome them by discussing and working through them. I believe our children see a difference in the way we behave and I extend that to their friends who interact with us also. Do they make a comparison on how their parents behave I wonder? I am not judging other people, I am merely pointing out that there is a possible difference in standards.
I close by pasting in a copy of the concluding paragraph of the original Army document I referred to earlier. As a bit of of fun I have replaced key words with those in block capitals. Can you see your own relationship’s in there?
‘The RELATIONSHIP’S Values and Standards demand a degree of commitment and self-sacrifice from DOMINANT and SUBMISSIVE, which goes beyond that normally expected from other citizens. All DOMINANTS and SUBMISSIVES in the RELATIONSHIP are required to commit themselves to achieving and maintaining these Values and Standards. This commitment is essential to the ethos of D/s and contributes directly to the maintenance of RELATIONSHIP effectiveness. It is the duty of all DOMINANTS to ensure that these Values and Standards are accorded the highest priority, are fully explained to their SUBMISSIVES, and are applied consistently. DOMINANTS at every level must lead by example, and encourage their SUBMISSIVES to live by its Values and to live up to its Standards.’ (http://www.army.mod.uk/documents/general/v_s_of_the_british_army.pdf)
Great post, HisLordship! It saddens me to see a generation of children being raised without self-respect, self-discipline, integrity, and any kind of moral compass and I’m not referring to religion. Obviously not all children are being raised this way as there are individuals such as yourself who are seeing the whole picture, but in both my professions (teaching and psychology) I am seeing the results first hand of an incredibly self-centered generation. Heck, I know many adults like this as well, I suppose. Sorry…stepping off my soap box now…. 🙂
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When Mr Man and I were hoping to start a family we read a book called “How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too.” It talked about the importance of setting a good example, having clear rules and reasonable expectations, and appropriate consequences. I think these things are just as important in any leader-follower relationship whether it be parent-child, supervisor-employee, teacher-student, Dom-sub, etc. This is a wonderful post on the importance of Values and Standards.