Last night we abandoned our older teenage children to socialise downstairs and retired to the safety of our bedroom. I had given Missy a ‘warning order’ that we would playing that evening and trying out our recently arrived glass corkscrew.  For those of you who partake in the ‘occassionanal’ play, diving straight in cold is never a good idea, so details aside, sometime later Missy was relaxed and ready to try this new item out.

Now normally I prefer to try new toys out on myself before inflicting them on my sub, however, it is somewhat impractical, and dangerous, to stick glass things in your rectum when: a) You can’t see what you’re doing. b) You don’t have enough hands to steady yourself and hold the item. C) Finally, anything smooth as glass and with lube on is impossible to hold.  So in this case, it was completely uncharted ground for using a glass corkscrew this big.  Oh yes, corkscrews are not new to us, we have a longer and slimmer version that works a treat. (I admit that I didn’t try that one out either!)

Now this post isn’t just about the toy, or Missy’s derriere, (yes, I hear the sigh of disappointment) it’s about direction and limits as well. Whilst the evening was very enjoyable, the use of the new corkscrew could have gone better.  As I said, it was a new toy, different in size and shape. It just didn’t work out as easy as I imagined, and I now know why.

Missy has mentioned in previous posts that we try to have our private regular conversations on a Saturday and Sunday morning before the kids are up. However, the kids have evolved, and now they earn money through part time jobs, which start, yes you guessed it, in the morning. Our peace is shattered!

So, like rats we scuttled off to the bedroom to finish our discussion. As you would imagine, last night’s play was a hot topic and here we come back to our old favourite, communication.  I made quite a point last night to explain what I was doing with the new toy, however, it transpired that although I was communicating, I was not providing the information required for someone who could obviously not see what was happening.

That got me to thinking that people quite often do that in conversation. We sometimes assume prior knowledge is there or provide information that is more relevant to us than to the other person.  I know that last night’s situation was unique, however, I was only telling Missy what I was doing, not what was actually happening through my eyes, which was in ‘hindsight’ very important.

Imagine you are a passenger in a car and you are blindfolded. The driver tells you that you are travelling at 20 miles an hour in a straight line and there are not other cars.  You assume you are safe, right?  The driver is in fact travelling at 20 miles an hour in a straight line, and there are no other cars, however, you are driving toward a cliff edge!  If that part of the description was included, it is likely the passenger would now be screaming instead of dreaming.  You see, it’s in the detail!

Our conversation today expanded beyond this using the same premise, and it was a good reminder to both of us that sharing information with each other is important, however, adding your own perspective is a key element.  Telling you it’s raining is one thing; Telling you it’s raining and I don’t like it, is another entirely. Again, it’s in the detail.

So last night, I was explaining to Missy that I was slowly turning the corkscrew. She has seen it and knows it probably recognised it had no more than five or six rotations before it could turn no more.  Before each turn of the glass toy I let her know. Unfortunately I have so much lube on my fingers, the corkscrew feels to be tuning in my hand, when in fact there’s an optical illusion going on, and the screw, is not screwing!  From Missy’s perspective the item should be six feet long by now!  Of course, if I had revealed this oversight, my little sub may have been more at ease and the event would have been different.

There is always a functional learning outcome from every event I find and in addition to improving communication skills, ours is this. With every new toy we should have an induction session where there are no soft lights and music. The time is spent examining the item and using it for it’s intended purpose with the aim of getting past the bumps in the road.  Once you have done this it should be plain sailing, fine wine and a happy sub.  Now, where did I put that damn corkscrew…..?