Spot the Sub


If any of you have worked in an environment that draws a steady flow of people, it is likely that you share the same voyeuristic past time of people watching.  I worked in a major airport for many years, and to pass the time when not only engaged in face to face combat with angry passengers, we used to evaluate the general public.  After a few years of practice you get quite good at summing up a person’s lifestyle.  Obviously some are easier than others; Expensive luggage not only shows they have money, but also on occasion, a lack of common sense. I once had a guy scream at me because there were black marks on his white cow hide suitcase. It transpired the case was made from his dead prize stud bull!  I mean, ‘white’ luggage, where’s the sound judgement there?

As my life has taken me from one role to another, I have never lost the fascination of watching people. I’ve seen people explode with happiness in a shop when getting a bargain,  through to watching a young girl get dumped on the telephone sitting in traffic; All this viewed in my rear view mirror, poor kid.  Now I have a new game, Spot the Sub!  My attention focuses on jewellery, such as collars, necklaces or rings.  I do not believe for a moment that behaviour will show through in daily life to reveal a submissive woman, it just doesn’t work that way.

Now I should be clear that I’m not Stalking a Sub, I have one already and she suits me perfectly.  It’s just plain people watching, with a twist!  I admit that in all my efforts I have yet to spot one.  We did go to a sex exhibition once and there was wall to wall slaves and subs, but that doesn’t count.  You may wonder why I don’t play Spot the Dom game. Well that is equally as difficult, if not more so.  Arrogant, Alpha Male types are abound in the industry I work in. The majority are complete arseholes and as such I am not drawn to them.  I am more likely to find a fellow Dom in a library than a bar full of guys verbally comparing the size of their cocks.

I thought I found a sub a while back. Vaguely familiar jewellery, a tattoo that looked very sexy and a physical personality.  Then I met her husband, and immediately saw that she wore the strap-on in that relationship.  I was close, but not close enough!

My wife wears here collar everyday, and whilst it’s not a thick steel band, the small silver heart and shackle is a dead giveaway to another person in the scene.  However, her being identified or me spotting a sub where we live is very unlikely. It is possible we are the only D/s couple in the village which does restrict my people watching.  We did attend a charity ball last night and I watched for men being considerate with their wives. I didn’t see much evidence of it. Chairs being held, men standing when their wives returned to the table, you get the idea.  It may have happened and I missed the opportunity to spy another D/s couple, I will never know.  So for now, I will abandon the pursuit of Spot a Sub when having coffee in town. The strange thing is, could someone be watching us!

Posted in Dominant Reflections.


  1. I love ppl watching. It’s great! Part of the reason I like my job is the working people out bit. It’s my superpower. I’m never Wrong! In or out of work.

  2. I too love people watching. When I see what could be a collar, I will sometimes ask if that is a necklace or a collar? Its just vague enough to be get a puzzled look if I am off base, or a coy smile if I guessed correctly. One time however, I think I was on the mark but instead of a coy smile, I got annoyance.. like.. how dare you recognize that and say so in public? You just never really know and that is probably to be expected I think. Many submissives are only so to the one they find worthy.

  3. I found this article very humorous because I have started to do the same thing. I’ve not found anyone who I saw wearing an article indicating D/s, but I’ve certainly been looking. However, I have begun to look for folks that I think would be submissive if tested or guided to the D/s lifestyle. As well as folks can lie with their mouth, they cannot lie with their bodies. How folks carry themselves, interact with other folks and clothes they wear speak volumes as to their mindset.

  4. You’d have a hard time spotting a sub based on jewelry here where I am. Everyone where’s collars now a days. They sell them not only in the mainstream lingerie shop, but also in regular chain assessory stores where my collar is from (black leather band 1″ wide with a silver circle representing our cyclical relationship of d/s. when I started wearing it my daughters wanted to borrow it! Uh I don’t think so loves.

  5. i think there’s a tee shirt out that has some kind of symbol on it that denotes if someone is a sub.
    (i do kind of like the idea of wearing one and getting knowing glances from those in the know!)

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