Oh no, it’s the 5-0

Oh no!

No not Hawaii 5-0, although the original show and sound track played a part of my youth, and still does.  It’s the other 5-0, whether it’s pronounced cinquanta, cinquante or go-ju, it’s still fifty whole years of age and I hit it last Saturday.

It doesn’t bother me to be honest. I still feel 20 at times and that’s a good thing. I normally feel 20 when I’m playing with my sub, however, I’m glad I don’t act like the 20 year old version of myself. He was shallow, irresponsible and not worth investing in emotionally. Sexually selfish and self absorbed would be another description.

I’m not sure how that happened as I’ve been described as being a polite and kind young man after leaving school and if anyone knows you, it’s your mother! From the ages of 20 -30 I wasn’t much better, however, I married, had children and my perspective changed, although not towards building a long term sustainable relationship. From 30-40 I had more kids and my life was consumed by them. Again, my emotional depth towards my partner had not grown stronger. From 40-50, I turned a corner, at long last, we divorced!

Then I met missy. Everything changed after that. I was with a person who didn’t want a re-run of her previous marriage, or mine!  She wanted honesty, openness and an emotional contributor. These were unfortunately not my main skill sets, although I was commanding and quite cute!

She then dropped the D/s bomb on me 2 years ago. She explained her needs and how she thought a D/s could possibly meet them.   I listened carefully and like a Labrador dog  I made all the right noises but was only interested the treats on offer.  It took a lot of training to embrace both sides of a D/s relationship.  I’ll be honest, if kinky sex wasn’t part of a D/s relationship, I wouldn’t have been interested.  Our sex life was great and our marriage was really good too, and the openness to everything kink was just the cream on top.

Being 50 means you have had a lot of time to make mistakes and get things right, or so that’s the idea. What we tend to find is that we look back and realise what a lot time we have wasted. I think that even proactive people feel some of their life has been proactively wasted!  Some would consider what I’m writing to be a waste of time, however, it isn’t for me as it allows me to think about what’s in my head.  That is very much like a D/s relationship, it allows you time to think about what is important in your relationship.  I recently read an article (https://kinkcraft.co/2017/01/reality-full-time-ds-relationship/) that describes the day to day life of a D/s couple and I realised that it is so easy to fall into a shallow, go-through-the-motions type relationship. I’m not suggesting that everyone should be in this form of relationship, it’s ‘horses for courses’ and certainly not a one size fits all.

I’m very pleased that at the age of 50 I’m in a D/s relationship. Life is difficult a lot of the time and the older you get the more you are exposed to the trials of the world. Having support, an outlet, a sound board, love and of course a partner for crazy sex is a real bonus and should not be taken for granted.  I am extremely lucky having missy as my wife, more than I will probably ever know. She keeps me young, tries to stop me taking life too seriously and yes, on occasion I will hum the Hawaii 5-0 tune in my head when spanking her. It has one hell of a beat!  Da da da da daa daa, da da da da daaa……

Posted in Dominant Reflections and tagged .


  1. Congratulations on reaching this milestone. Thank you for the linked article, reality and fantasy can really be diametrically opposed sometimes.. that’s life, I suppose.

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