So you wanna’ be a Dom?

Before we go any further, this is not an attempt to set myself up as guru. I am far from that. I don’t like the term ‘expert’ either in play or business. It sets people up on a pedestal and with a high likelyhood of criticism or failure. I prefer the term ‘skilled’ or ‘highly competent.’ These terms can be measured in many ways, but Expert? Give me a break!

I class myself as competent. I know what I know and I can do it with a level of positive outcome. I strive to be highly competent one day, just not today.
So you wanna’ be a Dom? As most of us know, it is not a badge that gets you lots of free sex without any emotional investment. For me, having emotional investment is easier to grow, I’m married to my sub and therefore have a stronger bond based on the two of us, our children and a mortgage! In truth though, being a Dom is not for losers who base their life around romantic, kinky fiction.
If you tell lies to enhance your life, that is somewhat of a human trait. Not massive whoppers, just subtle untruths, ones that you don’t notice. Modesty is a good example. “You look fantastic in that dress,” he says. She replies, “This old thing, really?” Of course she looks great and she knows it. You don’t go out dressed to impress thinking you look like a tramp do you? I exaggerate I know and generalise in a stereotypical way, I’m sorry, but you be the idea.
The lies I refer to ‘Mr. Wanna-be Dom’ are the biggies. Walter Mitty on crack. The guy who knows he’s a fraud, kids himself, lacks self respect and respect for others. If you are one of those, and you know who you are, do not, under any circumstances, become a Dominant with responsibility for other people, sexually and emotionally.
If you would like to be a Dom, you need to be honest with yourself and have a strong moral compass. Wanting to control women borders a criminal conviction. Wanting to understand women, building a healthy emotional and physical relationship is more in keeping with a happy ending. I didn’t realise the level of responsibility when agreeing to become my sub’s Dom. You know the experiment when they give school kids a chicken egg to look after or one of those computerised babies? It dashes all preconceived ideas of responsibility against the rocks. Welcome to the world of a Dom!
We have children, 7 of them and all need care and attention. Some live away from home and some don’t. I speak to the home birds daily to find out about their day, I wash their clothes, ask them questions, answer questions, dry tears, reprimand bad behaviour etc, etc……….etc. The leavers are still in my mind. I txt them (see what i did there) and catch up on news, advise on financial problems and jump in my car and drive someone a 60 mile round journey at 7am so they are not late for work. It’s all part of the job and I love it. This is parenting; Domenting is the same, but with great sex and with an adult.
I’m a better parent than a Dom. I’ve have 20 years more experience being a parent, although each day I become more competent at both. So, if you want to be Dom you don’t have to be an expert, you have to be honest and committed to making someone’s life better, just like a parent!

Posted in Being a Dom, Building A Dynamic.

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