That’s When I knew I Had a Kink.

I have often wondered when I knew I had an interest in kink. When WAS the time a bolt of lightening hit me that made me feel differently.  Well, I’ve discovered it was in the late 80s, and I only worked that out this morning having mistakenly fallen on the catalyst during a spot of research on uTube. In 1987, whilst watching MTV (when they played back to back music) in the early hours of the morning, a Swedish group had their video aired for the first time in the UK. ‘Army of Lovers’ hit my senses like a noisy, floral explosion with ‘Crucified,’ and I was captivated.  I had no understanding of the meaning behind the lyrics, and the video was mad, but I loved it.  It was camp, flamboyant, hedonistic and it had a woman dressed as Little Bo-peep in stockings and suspenders. Her mouth was overly suggestive and I couldn’t get enough of it. I was 20 years old and hooked on this one track; the thing is, I didn’t really know why!

I was actually turned on by this.  Not just by the very sexual female character played by the singer; I was actually turned on by the fact they were doing this openly.  Now this was not something new, having alternative sexuality mixed with music. Adam Ant was big into bondage early on when playing in colleges. Boy George with culture club, Pete Burns with Dead or Alive and dare I mention the Sex Pistols who decorated their albums with fetish suggestion in the late 70s?  All this was well and good, however, the aforementioned didn’t strike a note when originally released, I was too young.

After watching the video many times, thanks to MTV’s looped programmes, I begain to notice the hidden suggestion of an alternative lifestyle.  Please do not think that I ran out, purchased wild clothing and wore female underwear in private. Sorry to disappoint you, I was 20, straight and Mr. Mainstream. However, there was something in me that loved exhibition.  The problem was, I had not way of channelling it; and so, 20 years later, life delivers my sub, Missy, and it’s ‘Army of Lovers’ all over again!  When I watched that video today, I didn’t have a bout of nostalgia, I had a realisation that the freedom I once watched 30 years ago on a television the size of a small car, was now being driven by my relationship with my sub.  I am the driver, she the navigator, restrained for safety in case of impact!!

Posted in Dominant Reflections and tagged .

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