“To sleep, perchance to dream-ay, there’s the rub.”

I know immediately that my Missy will both recognise the quote I have used above, and be pleased that I have chosen Hamlet.  I know that as a teacher, and a lover of literature, my acknowledgement of a Shakeperian quote sparks something in her mind that is pleasing. That is why I used it!  If I can press both emotional and physical buttons in that order I am meeting her needs and in return she will meet mine.  It’s a partnership, a relationship, a dynamic and it’s us.  

I used this quote to match my post topic. Capturing Dreams and Fantasies.  Missy and I talk about our fantasies as do many couples, however, it is quite often difficult to articulate what our fantasies are.  To me they are like a dream from the previous night. More of a feeling than a thought or something you can’t quite put your finger in on.  It’s quite hard to transfer an emotional feeling or part dream into an actual scene.  Have you ever assembled something sexual in your mind at 10am and by 10pm it’s lost?  Aside from keeping a sexual scrap book for later reference, which is no bad idea and probably marketable, being able to articulate one’s fantasies can be tricky.  I’m sure most of my current fantasies are known to Missy, even the ones that in a vanilla relationship would require exorcism.  They change often, and like dreams fade away only to be replaced with newer versions.  

I don’t yet think I’ve perfected my questioning technique with Missy regarding fantasies. She often pulls a rabbit from the hat and surprises me, however, I do think she holds back something dark and lovely.  Behind those ‘come fuck me eyes’ lurks a mind probably full of dreams, like clouds of purple and red smoke whirling around forming new erotic shapes.  She obviously has to be careful, for both of us have trouble finding the STOP button when in the right frame of mind.  One has to be careful at our age…….

Posted in Dominant Reflections and tagged , , .


  1. Thank you for your post. One definition of the word fantasy is- ‘The faculty or activity of imagining impossible or improbable things.’ Some things are possible in one form or another and can become a form of reality. I’m not sure anyone can truly admit all their fantasies to another person though, only the ones deemed socially or morally acceptable, which then begs the question, who are the judges?

    • Thanks Lion for your comment. I hope you welcome a response challenging your views from our perspective. In a close relationship such as ours, how are we to push boundaries and explore together if we are not honest with our feelings and fantasies? New ideas are formed on a regular basis and are drawn from observing life, the people in it and potentially the things we read. It is an evolution of a dynamic, fed on the needs and desires of each other. Nothing is off limits for discussion, for that is the arena we play in. It is one thing to discuss a Roman orgy, and another to partake in one!

      • I absolutely welcome any point of view and my comments must only been seen as another point of view, never a contradiction. I just feel it must be virtually impossible for anyone to admit to another when a fantasy is, in there own mind, beyond the accepted norms. This lifestyle pushes boundaries and requires trust and understanding, but can one be completely open? If a fantasy involved, for example, a partners mother, sister, brother, a neighbour, a child or an animal, inside or outside the law, could you admit it to your spouse, or would it be too taboo. Would your partner just see it as a fantasy, the impossible, or would a degree of being judged occur, consciously or subconsciously. Absolute honesty is an ideal. Could you or her admit such fantasies. I think that one can get close to such an ideal, but the mind of another can hold things that can be virtually impossible to show to anyone. Just a thought. Not all people have such thoughts, but how will you ever know? You have to believe that they will tell you more than anyone else will ever know, but you will never know that it is everything. Have a great weekend. 🙂

        • @Lion- I see your point. Our minds throw things at us that are sometimes confusing. If a vision can to my mind of having sex with my mother-in-law, I think I would have to dwell on the reasons of having that thought before sharing it with my wife, if I shared it at all. There is obviously a difference between a fleeting thought and a serious fantasy! I will state for the record that my M-I-L I’d quite safe!

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