Lights, Camera, ACTION!

It would have been so very easy in the beginning to have found a book full of scene ideas.  How to set up a scene, why it’s important to communicate, what equipment to use and where best conduct a kinky sexual event.  There have lots of resources to tap in to despite missing a book: people’s stories, fellow Dom’s giving advice and of course our own twisted imaginations.  The problem was, how to fit it all together?

If I had owned an almanac of BDSM scenes it would in all honestly have been disastrous. I was like a kid in a sweet shop to start with having just been offered my wife’s submission.  I just know I would have ripped off all the wrapping and jumped from one scene to the next, rushing, not communicating and failing terribly.  I’m a strong believer that more lessons are learnt from your mistakes in life. If I had a book, I would have only blamed my errors on the author.  As it turns out, I didn’t have a book and the mistakes I made were mine alone and boy did I make a few! Most of my mistakes were down to the fact that I had a idea in my head and either I didn’t think it through or didn’t discuss it, especially when we were both trying to find trust.

Now we are in a different place, fewer mishaps and greater trust.  Tonight, as an example of positive behaviours, it will be different. I will be incorporating restraint (chair),  hot wax and nipple clamps. Coupled with a blindfold and Doxy Wand, I intend to take her senses further than before. A good spanking to start and forced orgasm to conclude. I’ll post this mid-scene having read it aloud whilst she is tied up, and blindfolded. “Only a safe word can save you now Missy!”

Posted in Dominant Reflections.


  1. Kinda like cooking from a recipe, even with all the right ingredients, sometimes the souffle comes out flat. I know Missy trusts you and wants you to keep taking her places that aren’t in any book.

  2. There is a book – Safe, Sane, Consensual, and Fun by John Warren. The ideas in it are pretty basic and written for beginners, but the variety is broad. We bought it for less than $15 USD but it seem to have become a rare book and the price is much higher now.

    Most of the BDSM ideas I’ve gleaned from others have been heavy on spanking, impact, and pain play; not things we are really into. For us control is the big turn on, his control of me; it is as much psychological as physical. I really enjoy light bondage and sensual sensation play. Stories and ideas of this nature seem harder to find. I’m very lucky to have a creative, imaginative Sir.

    I agree that before a couple starts down this road loving, respectful, honest communication habits should be established. I feel that is the key to trust and so very important in any relationship. Having that base has made this journey so wonderful. We’ve made mistakes and are sure to make more, we’ve laughed about them and learned from them.

    I hope Missy and you had a lovely time.

  3. Being very new to our D/s relationship Our scenes are fairly frequent (3/4 times a week!). Though I am still able to keep things fresh, I often wonder how long I can keep it up. I am seeing the emotional and general lifestyle changes start to occur, and it is fulfilling to know those will be a sufficient exchange for a slower play schedule. But in the meantime of growth, let’s play!!

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