It would be safe to say that as far as sexual activity is concerned, I’m open to most things. There are things I haven’t tried and will probably never get the opportunity to, however, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t dress up like a pirate and have sex with my captive sub in front of a crowd dressed as deck hands.
Being in a D/s relationship affords its self to a very satisfying kinky sex life with the opportunity to explore. For a Dom to lead a BDSM activity or scene, takes some thought prior to the event. If you have done this type of thing before you will have a good auto responsive check list for safety and expected enjoyment levels for all concerned. Engaging in a scene doesn’t happen by accident. There are so many things to consider, especially if you have kids and a busy life. Time, opportunity and environmental considerations (noise) are way up there. Does all this planning and responsibility take the fun out of it you may ask? Well, consider this; does planning a holiday abroad take the fun out of being on holiday later on? It probably doesn’t, or at least it shouldn’t. It should be part of the fun. ‘It’s not the destination, it’s the journey,’ I was once told about life, and in principle I agree.
So, that’s it sorted, it’s fun to discuss it, plan it and do it! If that’s the case, why am I so damn serious about it all? Where is the childish excitement one should feel especially when I have a beautiful play thing at my disposal? I’m happy in all aspects of our relationship and it’s not just the ‘access all areas’ pass I have in our sexual exploits!
One thing I should mention is that I don’t do role play very well. I feel stupid. I can, if required, mimic a number of accents and characters and can behave quite stupidly, there’s no issue there, as long as there’s no audience! My sub said to me the other evening that it would be nice to be a little more light hearted sometimes, less serious, maybe more fun at the same time as be caned, spanked, fisted, clamped and taken in every orifice. (Describe that as being fun to your neighbour!) Now, please don’t get the wrong idea here, I’m no miserable old Ebenezer Scrooge from a Dickens’ novel, far from it. I generally have a consistent happy and positive outlook on life. However, a less serious approach is required, or to put it other way, something to warm up a cold start to an activity. No preamble, no prologue and for those old enough, no cartoon before the main feature! It’s like a scenery to a stage show I’m looking for, the introductory narrative. Being fully engaged and working together on a scene is good, but it’s missing the ‘come here naughty girl, you’ve been a bad milk maid.’
I’m wondering where that light hearted, almost fooling around attitude has gone. It may have departed with my kids growing up. They no longer require books to be read to them with various voices being added to Harry Potter or the growling voice of Red Riding Hood’s nemesis. My days of an arm chair thespian are gone.
Throw caution to the wind I hear you say, however, it’s just dawned on me that maybe my sometimes seriousness comes from my need to meet my own expectations of a successful scene. I openly admit that in the beginning I was like junior pilot from the 1930s where I crashed occasionally, and I think their saying of the time ‘any landing you can walk away from is a good landing,’ is partly true, as long as your learn from your mistakes. So maybe I beating myself up a bit here over this, maybe even a 6’2″, 215 pound male can be a bit sensitive to the pressures he creates himself. Maybe it’s a self fulfilling prophesy? I should chill out a bit and use my experience and that of my sub to work together. Yes, I think now would be a good time to cast aside the focus on a post scene risk assessment, hoist the Jolly Roger, and set sail in search of wet dock and a well formed figurehead. Arrghhh Jim Lad!