I fully intended to write something about a Dominant & submissive relationship during illness. This, on second thoughts, would likely be as uninteresting as doing housework fully clothed…
On reflection, knowing what sparked the interest to write anything is the important thing I suppose. For the purposes of this blog, lets assume that I have thought about it properly prior to sitting here in front of my screen this morning, and not just letting my thoughts run away with me (you’re so naïve!).
I’m ill. There, it’s out there for all to see in glorious type font. I had some corrective surgery on Saturday, nothing major, just enough to slow you down for a week or two. I am still me by name and still a Dominant, however, it’s not the usual behavioural me. I’m slower, on pain killers and making grunting noises every time I move, which is very annoying. It will pass in time and I’ll be the usual old me again. For now though being unusual makes people react differently towards you. It’s not racial discrimination or sexual equality, no, it’s not as repulsive as that; it’s just awkwardness and unfamiliarity of managing a person who normally fills the house with their personality. My label saying ‘Dominant’ has slipped slightly.
We all walk around with a label don’t we, it’s our name? Be it birth name or one you have changed in a weird urge to be closer to your favourite Star Wars character, it’s a label. In addition to that we carry social tags as well. Woman, man, mother and father. On top of this we have the ones we choose through a career or hobbyist. Carrying tags is part of life and as I’ve discovered, very important in getting your blogs read – #pointlessramble.
Label –Submissive. To be more precise, my submissive, Missy. I’ve used a capital letter in her label out of respect and not D/s common protocol in using a lowercase. Why have I made a point of mentioning this? It’s because I respect and love her unconditionally. I often read submissive women saying how humbled, honoured and so lucky they are to have a Dom that rocks their world.
I have a submissive that completes my world.
You really aren’t that interested in knowing all the qualities of a stranger I’m sure. You can, however, check her writing out SubMissy to see how writing good she is at if you want to, as it really is rather good. The rest of her, as I stated, is the completion of what I require in our relationship. For the wiser of you reading this, you’ll realise that I didn’t know that having a submissive wife would benefit my life. However, aside from the physical feats of sexual impossibility and the emotional exploration that has only just started, there is so much to gain for both of us.
If you are reading this and you don’t have a BDSM dynamic, don’t panic. Dominant and submissive relationships are quite safe around small adults and big children. Look it up on the internet or email me with questions. (email@example.com) If the email address doesn’t put you off, you’re half way there!
My recent medical set back has allowed me time to observe her, in a non-creepy way. She doesn’t find having her Dom firing on one cylinder a safe place to be. I haven’t been very Dom’ish or made any real demands of her. She likes me to steer the ship of our D/s life whilst she maintains the engine below (no pun intended but I like it). She still continues to feed my Dominance in discussion and small manageable actions. She and I remain respectful and thoughtful, trying to put the other person first. Even in sickness, mutual respect and grasp of the bigger picture needs to be maintained; and whilst I’m not feeding her submission as much as I would like, she continues to work extremely hard for the two of us. Dominance and Submission is about being a cohesive unit in every sense of the word.
So what’s in a name? The answer, as Shakespeare inferred, is nothing. No matter how many labels people want to hang about their necks, when you remove them, it’s what’s left. Your real label in life should be defined by behaviour. It is how you are received, how you feel about yourself, and of course, how you are ultimately remembered.
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Labels tend to become a bit tattered when illness strikes. Missy is a very strong submissive even when her Sir is not up to his usual standards. I am sure the labels that adorn her will remain intact. To paraphrase the world’s most famous Scot: “I need more power!” “Captain, I’m givin’ it all she’s got!” “That’s not good enough!” “I’ll see what I can do.” *That’s Star Trek for non-fans.*
P.S. If you want to embed the links in the post, toggle from visual to text when writing. Press the ‘link’ tab, enter the web address and text to show, then close. Email are little trickier, you have to put emailto: along with the HTML coding.
Anyone can give themselves a label but what do they have to back that up?
Both sides of the relationship serve in different ways at different times. The important thing is that you can move with the flow of life without completely losing it before you can return to your preferred status.
Thank you Sir. I feel that we become complete together ?
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I so love this part ” She and I remain respectful and thoughtful, trying to put the other person first. Even in sickness, mutual respect and grasp of the bigger picture needs to be maintained; and whilst I’m not feeding her submission as much as I would like, she continues to work extremely hard for the two of us. Dominance and Submission is about being a cohesive unit in every sense of the word.”
I think It’s not just Dom’s or Subs but everybody that should be respectful. At times I watch couples and think OMG I hope I’m never that way.. I asked my Dom did I act the way some of the people we know acts and he said NO..
I would be heart broken if I disrespected my Dom, my husband the man I love with all my heart. There all 3 the same people, but someday’s I look at him and can’t believe how lucky I am.