D/s Relationship and Familes

I have had the privilege to speak to many people in a D\s relationship that has started in the bedroom and grown into a 27/4 dynamic. I appreciate this is not for everyone, as they say, “Your kink is not my kink.”
However, there is a common theme that presents itself and that is the challenge of raising children in 24/7 D\s relationship. I use the word ‘challenge’ loosely as not everyone starting out perceives this as a potential problem. I like to think I speak with some experience on the subject as we have 7 children. Now you might be thinking that we should have found another way of occupying dark winter nights, but in truth it is two families brought together; this has its own unique challenges as some of you may appreciate!
Although it’s an issue, may I set aside any obvious sound proofing problems one may have when trying to have fun? It’s very important not to scare the kids, however, you do need time and space of your own to swing whatever implement takes your fancy.
The larger part of the D\s family landscape is the change in behaviours within the home. I have always been polite and courteous to my wife, however, creating that dominant/submissive dynamic requires a consistent emotional presence; something you can feel. Many people have commented on their children’s remarks and behaviours towards their parents newly found attachment.
Let us not dumb down the bond between all loving couples. By the time children have arrived, the honeymoon has long passed, unless you’re like us and had two honeymoons 20 years apart! My parents have been together 55 years and they still hold hands and leave notes for each other; good old fashioned love. For the new 24/7 D/s couple with kids, the honeymoon period starts again, this time with an in-house audience! The kids cringe as they see you look at each other for a bit too long, hold each other a bit more and maybe catch a glimpse of an intimate squeeze. However, it’s not the obvious that make the biggest impression; it is the emotional investment and positive behaviours that make the greater impact.
What have I witnessed in our house? Well, I like to think we are lucky with our kids. They are polite, pretty well-mannered and are socially aware. They are NOT perfect! So, what has changed that would encourage new couples with kids to go 24/7? I would have to say from my experience and that of others from around the world I have spoken to, is that the children become more aware of other people’s needs. By watching parents who have created a set of boundaries for themselves, places the children in a hothouse of positive attitudes that they can emulate. I’m not saying that every family will turn into the Waltons from the Blue Ridge Mountains, however, traditional values are the foundation of a safe and accepting society. For me and that of many others, 24/7 D/s at home is a safe place for it to be, with loads of hidden benefits.
You may think that this somewhat a perfect world account and your experiences may be very different. Our world is not perfect as we get very little time alone and are under constant observation at home. My youngest son jumped out of his chair recently after hearing the microwave go ‘ping’ and with a sweeping flourish opened the oven door for my daughter to recover a hot chocolate drink. The kids all found it all very funny because he was copying me opening the car door for my wife, which I always do. Is that so bad? In the greater scheme of things, what would you say?

Posted in Being a Dom, Building A Dynamic and tagged .


  1. Children learn through examples, it sounds like you are providing a great one.

    My oldest is dating and I have seen him order for his gf, open doors and pull out her chair. He also walks female friends home even if it means having to meet them somewhere first so that they do not walk alone in the dark.

    Being a gentleman is never out of style. 😀

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